What the Eyes Don't See
by mamasutra
Summary: The secrets we keep in the name of loving another the most damning ones. What the Eyes Don't See, Can't Hurt the Heart. Sex, love, and betrayal makes the world a complicated place when there is too much to lose and not enough reasons to stop. ExL and ExB
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

_What the eyes don't see, the heart doesn't feel._

The room was dark with the shades drawn shut except for the light from the bathroom shining in on us on the bed of tangled sheets. We had been here all day, twisted together in our own filth, fucking until the room smelled us and her scent was embedded in my pores.

She moved slowly with a wicked smile on her lovely face, watching me as I watched her. My dick twitched with excitement even though I had abused it excessively inside her tight pussy while she cried and shook with the strength of her orgasm for me.

"Oh, Jesus," I moaned as I felt her heavy tits drag along the skin of my chest, her nipples hardening from the friction of her skin against mine. It was my favorite feeling in the world, her skin against mine, rubbing, teasing as she caressed my skin. My dick hardened to the sound of her sweet giggle. That damn adorable giggle that was innocent and yet always appeared when she was about to do something far from innocent. It was the soundtrack to my dirtiest thoughts and made me harder than anything else I had found in my short thirty years.

I sighed and twisted beneath her knew where she was going and what she was about to do. I closed my eyes and readied myself for the feel of her perfect mouth closing around my cock when like a lightning bolt the sick feeling of guilt washed over me in the form of an image of brown eyes and a soft smile. It left me shaking with a sickness that she always mistook as want instead of regret.

"Oh, baby, do you want me to suck that beautiful cock of yours?" she whispered so sweetly to me. Her dirty words were out of character for the girl who was nose to nose with my hard dick. She was prim and proper. She blushed when someone told a dirty joke. She also loved to be fucked so hard in the back seat that my car would shake with the force of our fucking. She loved to have me go so deep and hard inside of her so that she could feel in inside of her for days afterward and then tell me how she could still feel me. She was a contradiction of everything good and sweet mixed with filthy whore. It was the filthy whore side that I loved and longed for on quiet nights when I was forced to live the dull reality of my life.

"You are so hard for me, aren't you baby," she cooed to me as she began to stroke my cock. I was still sticky from being inside of her, but that only seemed to add to her excitement. She loved touching me when I was covered with her juices.

"You look good enough to eat," she whispered in a naughty tone that made me smile just as I opened my eyes in time to watch her tongue dart out to lick me from base to tip. My body reacted on pure pleasure, hips thrusting upward to find her mouth while my mind muddled over what I was doing. I knew it was wrong, so fucking wrong, but I couldn't stop, not now with her mouth wrapped around my cock in the most appealing way possible.

I was deep in her throat, one of my favorite places to be, fighting the urge to cum, when she moaned loudly. I gritted my teeth against the sensation as she pulled off my cock with wet sounding pop.

"I love tasting myself on you," she whispered as if it was a dirty secret, not something that I knew from how often she sucked my cock after fucking her senseless.

"You wanna taste?" she asked me, batting her big doe eyes at me with a wide grin that reminded me of the cat that had caught the canary in between random licks on my cock as if it were her favorite lollipop. I nodded since I could not find the words to speak and then listened to that damn giggle of hers again as she crawled up my body. Her tits heavy on my skin as my aching ache nestled between our sweat sticky bodies just as her mouth covered mine. Her tongue, tart with the taste of our sex tangled with mine as she shifted above me, rubbing her slippery cunt over my hard cock until I was eased inside of her inch my inch. I breathed in her low gasp as she sunk down upon me, letting me go as deep as I would until her ample ass was sitting upon my thighs.

It was a thing of beauty to see her like that, spread open with my cock buried inside of her, but it never lasted as she began to move. She was fast, fucking me hard as she knew as well as what I had our time was coming to end by the chiming of her phone, alerting us of how little of time we had left until she came with a scream while I held her hips in place, releasing my load inside of her once more.

I watched as she rolled off of me, letting my semi hard cock flop against my belly with the most sickening slap of skin against skin. It was always in these moments that I regretted my time with her. I wondered if she was worth risking everything for these moments of madness that amounted to nothing but fucking for no other reason, except to fuck.

"Don't look at me like that, Edward," she said as I watched her roll off the bed slowly as if the ache from my cock fucking her hard was already setting in. Watching her and knowing that she throbbed inside left me feeling sick and oddly proud of my ability to injure this girl who begged to be hurt by me.

"I can't help it," I whispered as I continued to lay there, letting the minutes tick by, knowing that if I was late there would be questions and if I came home smelling like perfume and pussy there would be problems; horrible problems that would leave me alone without the one girl I loved even if I wasn't so sure if I loved her any more.

"I told you we could stop any time. I'm not putting a gun to your head to fuck me nor have I ever threatened you in order to bring you back to my bed," she said as I watched her grab her robe and slip it on, even though she hadn't shut it. I could still see her naked skin that bore my marks from our fucking.

"If you want to stop then let's stop since I cannot take you like that," she said surprising me with her cold attitude towards it, even though she had warned me of that before. In a way it was her threat to end things since she knew I couldn't. I couldn't walk away from her; I just hated the hurt that would come if we were ever discovered.

Without another word, I rolled out of her bed and slipped into her bathroom to clean up. It was time to go back to who I was before being with her; the man who belonged to another and one who always did the right thing, even though there was nothing right about what I was doing here with my wife's best friend.

I washed my cock roughly with the pink wash cloth she had set out for me just like always. I scrubbed at my over used member with her damn rose smelling soap to remove all traces of the woman I had spent hours inside of without regard to anything except the pleasure that came from fucking her.

I glanced at my phone that sat on the counter by me as I dried off. It was filled with encouraging messages from my wife who thought I was spending a Saturday morning in the office working instead of in her friend's bed.

_I love you._

_Don't work too hard._

I finished dressing and sent a quick message to say I was on my way home before opening the bathroom door to leave. I walked out into the empty bedroom that still had the musty scent of sex lingering in the air to find it empty. I wasn't surprised by this since at the end of our time together she would retreat into herself. I think she felt the same the guilt that I did even though she denied it. She told me that we deserved happiness and this was her happiness, but in the quiet moment I had to wonder. She was risking a lot too and she liked to remind me of the lifelong friendship she would lose if we were ever discovered, but I didn't care about that. If she lost Bella, then she lost her. I could not care about that. I cared only about the repercussions that I would face and how I never wanted to lose my wife or hurt her, but I knew that would happen if she found out about this, yet I could not bring myself to stop.

I walked out to the front room and slipped on my shoes as I listened to her talk. She was on the phone and I knew with whom.

"Hey, Bella," I heard her soft gravelly voice that always did made my heart race, but now it just made me sick as she spoke to my wife.

"Yeah, work was ok," she said with a laugh as she looked at me before rolling her eyes over the lie I had told my wife, but there was nothing else that made sense as to why both Leah and I would be busy on a Saturday morning together where she could not be with us.

"Oh, you know, Edward. He's always in a funky mood," she said with a half laugh as I stood there watching her, knowing that Bella was questioning my behavior, which I'll admit was far from normal before I left. I could not think of anything else that morning except being inside of Leah while not getting caught. It was hell on earth and she had no idea.

"Yeah, he rode me _hard_ today," she said with a wicked snicker as she looked at me with her chocolate colored eyes bright with mocking laughter, while I fought off the urge to vomit as I gawked at her. I knew Bella would not realize the truth in her statement, but I did and it needed to stop. It also reaffirmed the fact that I needed to walk away from this witch of a woman; unfortunately I had no idea how to do that.

**An;**

**Thanks for reading! I'm not sure if I will expand this one or not. It was just a plot bunny that would not leave me alone so who knows…**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**WARNING! This is a story about death, betrayal of marriage and betrayal of friendship. If cheating is a hard limit for you then please kindly click X and move along to another more fitting fic.**

**Not beta'd**

**LEAH POV**

I listened the resounding slamming of the door. He was angry. He was hurt and knowing that only made me bite back a sob.

"You ok, Lee-Lee?" Bella asked me in a concerned tone that made my already sick stomach turn so that I was swallowing bile.

She had no idea how far from ok I was.

"Yeah, I gotta go," I whispered to her, ending the call before she could question me any further. I couldn't take her sweet concern or her worried questions.

I tossed my phone on the couch and then stood there looking around at the empty shell that was now my life. There was no happiness here or warmth. There was only icy regret and lost memories of better times. My eyes scanned over the book shelf before settling on a picture. It was the same picture that I came back to after Edward's departure and the high of sex was waning. Just like when he was alive, his dark eyes shined bright and his smile was flawless, but I knew better. I could see the disappointment on his face. I could feel it radiating from the picture, marring his handsomeness with what I had done.

_Sam._

My Sam. My heart. My husband. He was gone from me, stolen from me by fate and circumstance. He left me with only the memory of his kiss and a granite headstone that bore his name.

"Don't look at me like that," I whispered to his ghost as I felt the sting of his anger on my skin even though I couldn't see him.

"I just want…." I stammered into the air around me as I fought to find my reason for what I did. Was there a reason to be with Edward? I didn't love him. I never had. I barely ever liked him with his arrogant smirks and cocky attitude, yet week after week I taunted him. I teased. I guilted him over the fact that he alone had robbed me of my happiness until he finally caved under the persistent swirling of my tongue around his cock. It was a punishment that I took out on his flesh and sanity every opportunity I could.

"I just want to be happy and maybe…" I stammered to him as I stepped close to the picture as if I could reason with the glossy paper, but there was no reasoning. He knew as well as what I did that there were no excuses and I was only playing with fire, begging to get burned.

My phone chimed loudly on the couch, causing me to jump in fright as I stumbled back from the book shelf as if Sam was reaching out to me from the grave. It was with a shaking hand and heartbeat in my ears as I grabbed the phone.

The message was simple and as old as time from Edward. It also was meaningless since I knew he was liar. He didn't just lie to Bella or me, since the biggest lies were the ones he told himself. He was too much like me in this matter. Too stuck in a past he cannot change. Too willing to take the blame for the death of another. Too willing to be my personal whipping boy that I used for pleasure. He was trapped in this weird warp of guilt and self punishment that I had inflicted upon him as well as myself, but he didn't seem to understand there was no escape. I read his words and laughed out loud like the manic I was slowly over his newest lie.

_Never again._

_**AN:**_

_**Thanks for reading! There will be a lot of Leah POV in this fic since I think she is way more interesting than Edward.**_

_**Xoxo**_

_**Mamasutra**_


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

***warning! Not beta'd and involves cheating. If this is a hard limit for you click X on in the upper right hand corner & have a nice day : )***

EPOV

The drive home was long and horrendous as I took the long the way to where I belonged and then laughed like a fucking moron over my behavior since it mirrored my own stupidity in the last six months of my life.

How does one go from everything perfect to everything being utter shit in the matter of weeks? How does one's life turn on a dime? I wasn't sure, but I knew mine had and it had to change. I couldn't live like this. I couldn't allow her to live like this. I couldn't allow this hurt Bella, yet I knew it would.

I was so fucked.

MY mind went back to a time when there was no jealousy or Leah lurking the back ground. It was easier then back before Sam took his own life and everything else just went to hell all around me. If I could go back and change it all I would. I would do it without thinking or questioning it. I wanted to go back to a time when going home meant going home without secrets and love marks that I had to hide.

As I drove the streets getting closer to the home that I shared with the woman whom I didn't even know any more my mind wandered back to Sam.

Fucking Sam and his selfishness that changed everyone that it touched. He couldn't handle not succeeding in business so because of it he just ended it. It was cruel to Leah, but that was Sam. He was all about protecting himself while throwing others to the wolves. The only good thing about his death was that it left Leah taken care of. She was able to catch up on missing mortgage payments and live comfortably even if it was without him. It made me hate him since after he was gone I was left to pick up the pieces and the picking up those pieces was painful.

_"DO you think he left me because he didn't love me enough?" Leah asked me with tears in her eyes as we sat in his office, cleaning it out while unsure of what to save and what to toss._

_ "He loved you more than anything, Lee" I assured her as I slipped my hand into hers once more. It was a touch that we were getting used to. I was used to holding her hand. I was getting used to going to her place at night to check on her when she didn't answer her phone. I was used to holding her while she cried for him, because of him._

It was those innocent conversations of me assuring her that Sam loved her and his choice was not her fault. I needed her to know that she was still beautiful and young. I wanted her to understand that her life was far from being over and there would be another man to love, to touch, and to care for, but my words seemed to work against me as the more I soothed her the more aggressive she became. Her touches became softer, seeking out more. Her whispers more heated until they lead to the biggest mistake of my life. The one mistake I can't seem to distance myself from or undo.

I parked in front of my house, unsure if I could go in and face Bella. How many times could I lie to her and get away with it? She knew something was wrong. I could see it when she spoke, when she questioned me. She wanted to believe me, but she knew I was nothing but a liar. She knew, she just refused to see it yet and I did not have the heart or courage to tell.

_"She would take a bullet for you," I whispered to Leah as I caught her watching Bella from a distance not long after our so called affair started. It was one of the many attempts I had made to end things before they were out of hand even though I knew they were already out of control. I would point out how she would hurt Bella with this, not that it seemed like Leah cared._

_ "Yeah, but isn't always the ones you would take the bullet for that are the same ones pulling the trigger," she whispered her reply before going over to stand by my wife as if nothing was out of the ordinary when the rest of our world was burning around us._

A**N:**

**Thank you for reading. **

**If this is not your preferred type of story I understand, but please save your energy from screaming at me over your preferences. There is no need to. It's like screaming at me for liking the color pink when you don't. It's pointless, kinda stupid, and makes the person screaming obscenities look unstable, know what I mean?**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I opened the door and walked inside feeling weary before even speaking a word.

"You're home," Bella announced with a decisive tone as she looked up from her books of pain colors. Hr glasses were sliding down her nose in an all too adorable manner. In the past I would have walked over and pushed then up the bridge of her nose before stealing a kiss, but I knew now I had lost that right.

"I got a phone call from your mom and they want us over today before four so you have just enough time to shower and get dressed," she said with a smile that resembled a grimace as she eyed me carefully. It was a worried look that painted her face every time we were together. It was hard to look at her knowing that I had placed that look upon her face. I looked away from her just as my phone buzzed in my pocket alerting me of a new text message. I didn't need to look at it to know who it was from, yet I needed to know what she needed now.

_Be over tomorrow by noon. I have plans in the afternoon._

"Everything ok, Edward?" Bella asked in a worried tone that she tried to soothe over with a smile. I had heard it her voice each time she spoke to me, asking me, practically begging me to tell her what was wrong between us.

I looked at Leah's words and once more I was reminded of the sins that I had committed. I may not have started the mess I was in, but I had done nothing to stop it either. I had gone along with her demands, letting the guilt of Sam's death guide me into decisions that I could not seem to go back on. I had allowed the affair to continue, as well as the great divide that was now between Bella and me to grow to an unbearable distance. I had done it all. I had lied and cheated. I had broken promises and been the fool. I had thought I could do it, to live a double life, to love two women while not really loving either of them properly. I had failed and because of it I was lost.

"No," I whispered to her as I stood there with the scent of her best friend on my skin.

"What?" she questioned as if she had not heard me, even though I knew she had.

"No, I'm not alright," I whispered to her before sucking in a deep breath to confess every wrong I had committed while knowing I was facing losing the only person that had ever mattered to me.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! The POV will be changing from Edward/Leah to Bella/ Leah from here on out.**

**I want to send a special shout out to Ana Richards(?) or I think that's what she signs on her guest reviews. The attention you give me is flattering in a way since it's pretty clear you think about me or really this story quite often to contact me as frequently as you do, so with that in mind I want you to know that I dedicate this story to you. I'll be honest when I say that when I don't like something I don't stick around, but you show dedication to something you claim to dislike and that's rare these days. **

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

_**Bella**_

His eyes were dark and filled with pain as he looked at me. It was a burning look that seared at the edges of my soul.

Some thing was wrong.

Something was horribly wrong.

"What is it?" I asked him, petrified to know what was tearing him apart, yet dying to finally know the truth.

"Sam was a good man…But I'm not," he rambled on as he turned away from me. Sam was a good, yet troubled man who spent years battling the dark clouds of depression only to fall so far away from us that taking his own life would ease the pain. It was a selfish act since I had spent the last year watching his death slowly decimate his wife while pulling my husband into his own dark cloud of depression.

"You are a good man," I reassured him like I did day after day when he would make his disparaging comments about himself before closing me out like he always did. I waited for more, some comment, some thing from him, but he was gone once more. I could see it in his eyes that he had already closed me out as he turned away while mumbling about how he needed to shower.

I followed behind him slowly. I knew he was fragile, yet I needed him present and willing. I needed _my _husband back. I needed the Edward who was spontaneous and would make love to me on the kitchen table just as he came home from work. I needed the man I had married who was engaged in our life, not a mere shadow, floating from day to day, eating, and breathing because he had to; making love to me only because I reminded him that I wanted him.

My heart pound inside of my chest as I listened to him stops as he entered our bed room. I waited since I knew what was waiting for him. I had placed it there in the middle of our bed for him to see.

His silence was too much as I found myself practically running into our room half terrified and half elated since this moment would change everything for us. I stepped into the room breathless with fear and excitement to find him sitting on the bed with the plastic stick in one hand and the note in another. He had a confused look on his face as he stared at the pregnancy test in his hands.

"I know it's kind of bad timing," I rambled as he looked down at the stick in his hand.

"But maybe it's what we need, you know, a reminder that life goes on and it's good," I stuttered as I watched Edward who remained silent with my positive pregnancy test in his hand.

"Your dad confirmed it today with a blood test… That's what's dinner's about. You know he can't keep a secret," I rambled with a nervous laugh as I waited for some reaction from him, but there was nothing but confusion on his face.

"I'm thinking it was our anniversary trip. That hotel in the city was perfect," I stammered as I tried to make him remember our weekend away that was far from perfect, but something that I had hoped would be a new start for us and it was. It was a brand new start that resulted in a brand new life.

"Say something," I demanded as I watched him closely, yet he continued to remain silent while focusing only on the plastic stick in his hands.

"Bella," he began slowly in a voice that was thick with emotion as it felt like my heart was about to burst out of my chest.

Edward raised his head to meet my gaze and I could see the tears in his eyes, but he looked far from happy. I had expected tears of happiness or even a proud smirk that I had seen him wear, but this look of misery took me by surprise.

"I've been having an affair," he said in a soft voice that sounded nothing like the Edward I knew. It was as cold and detached as the man who sat before me.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! **

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

_**Bella**_

_I've_ _been_ _having_ _an_ _affair_.

His words cut through me while knocking me backwards with the force of a hard blow.

"What?" I stammered, hoping like hell that I had misheard him and that the tears in his eyes were not from guilt.

"It started about six months ago when I was helping Leah clean out Sam's office," he said in a soft voice that sounded distant as he spoke as if he was telling a story instead of telling me how he wrecked our marriage.

"She was… She was persistent and… I was… I was weak," he confessed in a sob as I watched him clenched the pregnancy test in his fist tightly as if it was a life line and not the very thing that was drowning him now.

"What are you saying?" I asked dumbly as it willed him to deny it. There was no way he would do that to me. Edward detested cheaters. He hated men who fucked around on their wives, yet there he sat telling me about his supposed affair as if he was telling he went bowling last week.

"It was crazy and… And… I'm sorry… I am so fucking sorry, Bella, but Leah was just so damn…" he stammered as his eyes finally met mine with a look of tortured remorse.

"Leah?" I questioned him as he sat there watching me with dark eyes filled with useless tears.

"She would never…" I began in defiance as he continued to nod his head yes as if he was willing me to believe him.

"I'm sorry," he pleaded as he moved faster than what I was expecting so that he was kneeling before me, hugging my legs as if he was seeking mercy, but it was too late there was no mercy to be found.

"Get out!" I screamed at him as I pushed him away while swatting at his face and shoulders in effort to get him to let me go.

"I can't leave you!" he practically screamed at me as I kicked at him until he set my leg free.

"You already did, so get the fuck out!" I screamed at him as I continued to him, letting all that rage take over in the form of swallow strikes against him that he barely blocked until I had him doubled over with a kick between his legs that left him howling in pain.

"I am leaving and when I come back, you better be gone!" I screamed at him in a breathless manner as he lay upon our bedroom floor curled into a ball, red faced and gasping for air.

**AN:  
Thanks for reading!**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**Leah**

Time ceased to exist now that I was alone. I wandered the empty house trying to avoid the judging eyes of my husband, but he was everywhere I went and every place I looked. When I couldn't take it the guilt or the scent of Edward on my skin I slipped out of the silent tomb that was my front room only to come face to face with the collage of pictures that I could no longer look at.

Bella.

Bella and me at our high school graduation.

Bella and me at a bar in Iowa City.

Bella and Edward.

Me and Sam.

The four of us together, laughing, talking, being happy like once had been. I missed those times and who I used be when I was with all of them. I missed it all and it was during those times that I was most lost that I called the one person who was ever able to ground me while reminding me of who I could be once more.

Without thinking I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and called Bella. It was always her. She was always the glue that held us all together. She was my dearest friend and my worst enemy all rolled into one. I had loved and hated her for years. I loved her because she was everything good in my life and hated her because she had everything that I wanted when I had lost it all.

_This is Bella. Leave a message!_

Her voice mail always made me laugh as since she sounded so perky that it was almost disturbing.

"Hey Bella, call me," I whispered into the air around me before setting he phone done. It was odd that she didn't answer since she always took my calls. She worried about me. She fretted over everything and all the while I taking what was hers. It was a fucked up relationship that we had grown into without her even knowing.

I hit send once more to call her and once more I only heard her voice mail calling happily to me in my ear.

"I need you," I whispered to her in warped defeated tone that seemed to deflate me as I stood there. It was horrible how I needed her reassurance that everything would be fine even though I knew it wouldn't. It would never be fine. Nothing could ever fix the past and I was too far gone to fix the present.

I left the phone on the counter top as I started the water for my shower. I waited until the steam was billowing around me, but before I could undress the sound of glass shattering interrupted my self imposed silence. It was startling enough to pull me out of the numbness that seemed to take over after my time with Edward. I found myself stumbling towards the front room window to see what the commotion would be on my quiet street. I half expected to find the neighborhood kids running away from some broken window that a stray ball had taken out, but instead I found Bella.

She was standing beside my car that had black spray painted words covering the silver paint proclaiming me a whore. She was swinging that damn wooden baseball bat that her father had given her for her tenth birthday. I knew it was since I could see both our initials carved into marking it as hers. I watched in stunned amazement as she beat the stick against the glass windows until they shattered with a loud crash as glass flew around her. She was calculating and cruel in her madness as I watched her too stunned to move until the loud buzz of my phone pulled me out of my shock. I didn't have to look to know who it was from, yet I pulled my horrified gaze away from Bella's dance of destruction to read the message anyway. It was simple and heartless, much like how we had been.

_I told her._

**Thanks for reading! Thanks for all the great reviews and interest in the story. **

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

**Leah**

I watched as the glass splintered into a deep crack across the windshield of my car while Bella continued to smash it with her bat without an ounce of mercy. I half jogged to the door and opened it before stumbling down the steps and towards where my best friend was totaling my car with her rage.

"What the fuck?" I muttered in a low whisper, but it was enough for her to hear me as she spun around to face me. Her hair was a mess and her cheeks were bright red from anger and exercise as she gasped for air before me.

I stood there as she stared at me with cold eyes as if she had never seen me before, as if I was a fucking stranger instead of her best friend for over twenty years. It left me cold inside, but I expected it. I expected her anger when she found out about Edward. I knew it would come, but I also knew that this would pass. Bella could never say mad at me. She would bitch and moan. I would be treated with silence until the storm would pass, but it would pass since that was us. I would upset her and she would forgive. It was our nature since we were five. It was who we were and how we behaved together.

I stepped closer to her as she dropped the bat with a loud clank at her feet. Her dark eyes never left mine as I watched her, knowing what she needed to hear to make this all better.

"I'm sorry," I whispered to her and then waited for what always came next when we fought. I looked down and waited for her soft words that she had spoken countless times before, but her sad whisper of _it'll be ok_ never came. Instead, I was greeted with blinding pain as her fist connected with my face.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

_**Bella**_

"Cullen!" the police officer yelled while announcing that I was free.

"So when do I see the judge?' I asked the man as he walked me down the hallway towards the massive gray door that separated me from freedom.

"You don't. There are no charges against you," he said with a sigh as he was pleased to share this bit of good news, but I didn't care. It didn't matter since charges or not my life was a mess.

"Thanks," I mumbled as he handed me the envelop that held my car keys and phone that they had confiscated from me when the cops took me in.

"Don't thank me. I wasn't the one who refused to press charges," he snickered as he motioned me for me to leave.

Fucking Leah.

"There you are!" I heard a familiar voice exclaim as I stepped out into the drab lobby where friends waited for their loved ones to be released.

Demetri Marcus wasn't someone I normally called. We had a shared past and Edward hated him because we had dated, but desperate times called for desperate measures. Besides, who else would I call when the two people I trusted the most had failed me so horribly?

"What do I owe you?" I asked him as he pulled me into a tight hug that warmed me up from the cold room I had left. I waited for his response, but he just laughed a little at my question.

"Let's just call it even," he whispered into my ear as he held me close, reminding me of the time I had been the one to help him after a failed relationship.

Failed relationship.

Is that what I had now?

"Let's get out of here," he whispered as he slowly let me go just enough to wrap an arm around me so that he could lead me out of the city jail.

"He cheated on me," I whispered as we walked, causing Demetri's confident steps to falter a bit from my revelation.

"He cheated on me with Leah," I confessed with a cringe as I tasted the bitterness of the truth on my tongue. It was one thing to know the truth and something different to actually say it out loud. It made it real and the truth of it hurt like a knife in my chest.

"He never deserved you," Demetri huffed in anger as I shook my head, instantly regretting calling him since I knew he would gloat over Edward's fall from grace.

"Leah. He was with Leah," I stammered on like an idiot as the betrayal washed over me leaving me weak against the man who had once been my everything before Edward appeared in my life. My rambling seemed to silence him.

"Leah is… fucked up," he said with a sigh as if he was holding the truth and words back from me. In the past that would have bothered me, but as I sagged against him, feeling deflated with each step I took, I didn't want to know what he was hiding.

"Let's get out of here," he whispered to me as he looked at me with a worried look in his dark blue eyes before opening his car door to let me inside.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

_**Edward**_

The silence of the house was deafening as I sat alone. It had been three days since Bella left me with nothing but a pregnancy test to keep me company. I had no idea where she was and wasn't even sure who to call to find out. The only thing I did know was that she was out there somewhere and I was left behind.

I was lying on the bed when I heard the front door open followed by the jingling of keys and instantly the fatigue of no sleep was gone as I scrambled out of bed to go face my wife once more. I had no idea what I would say, I just knew I had to make this right somehow. I had to fix this. I had to make her see that I would never hurt her again, that our time apart was a reminder of how lost I was without her and that I would spend forever showing her that I would never doubt us again.

"Bella?" I questioned as I stumbled into or front room, but instead of Bella standing there, I was greeted with a shocked looking Leah. She looked no worse for the wear with her hair done and her makeup perfect.

"Where is she?" she asked me in a harsh tone as I stared at her.

"Where is she?" I mimicked as she stared at me with a hard glare.

"Don't play games with me, Edward," she spat in anger as she turned to look around the room as if there would be some clue to where my wife would be written on the walls.

"No, I'm done playing games with you," I growled as she looked at me with a dark look that made me sick.

"Whatever," she scoffed. "Where is she? I need to talk to her about the scholarship in Sam's name," she continued on as if nothing was different.

"Don't think she'll give a fuck about that now that she knows," I growled at her, causing her to turn and glare at me as if I was the only one who had done something wrong.

"You shouldn't have told her," she hissed at me with such venom that I could not stop that crazed laugh that escaped my lips.

"Not tell her?" I laughed as she glared at me. "I could not avoid telling her. I couldn't sleep any more, Leah. I couldn't eat. I couldn't function any more from _not telling her,_" I mocked as Leah rolled her eyes in response.

"She had to know. I had to tell her or die from keeping it in," I managed to say as Leah looked away. She knew I couldn't handle it. She knew, yet acted as if it was nothing.

"Oh, Edward," she sighed mockingly. "Always so damn over dramatic."

"Fuck you, Leah," I growled at her as she turned away from me once more to leave me.

"Tell her to call me," she called back to me as she turned towards the door.

"She won't call you," I stated calmly, causing her to turn to look at me with surprise.

"She won't return my calls so what makes you think that she would call you?" I asked in a hard tone as she shook her head at me in disbelief, like I was the one who didn't understand the situation that we were in.

"Just have her call me, Edward," she stated in a firm tone before leaving me alone once more.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

_**Edward**_

The phone rang for what seemed like forever until finally someone picked it up.

"Bella?" I questioned into the phone, hoping like hell that it would be, yet knowing that she was gone. I could feel it without hearing her voice. She was done with me and this was my doing.

"Edward," I heard the tired sigh of Sue Clearwater greet me. She had taken my calls for over a week now. She had to know what was going on, yet she remained quiet and kind to me as she told me that Bella wasn't available.

"May I please talk to my wife?" I pleaded with her as she was the one who was keeping me away, and not the fact that I had fucked up hugely.

"Edward, I don't think this is a good time," she said with a sad tone that only added to my anger as I sat there.

"When would be a good time then?" I asked as I felt the burn of anger in my veins. It was the first real emotion I had felt in days.

"I don't think…" she began in that soft tone that told me without even hearing what she had to say that Bella was not going to talk to me now, or possibly ever.

"She's carrying my child for Christ's sake!" I demanded, pulling the one hold I had over Bella out to use against her pseudo mother.

"I have the right to know how she is doing…How our baby is doing." I managed to say while choking on the words since it was still so foreign to think about a child, my child with Bella, growing inside of her.

"Well, it's nice you're finally getting your priorities straight by thinking of your wife," Sue cooed at me in a sickening tone that finally hinted at her rage towards me.

"Just so you know, Bella is not staying here so you can stop calling here all hours of the day and night," she growled at me, catching me off guard with her confession.

"What do you mean she's not there? Where else would she be?" I demanded as Sue began to back track, spewing lies about how she had no idea what I was talking about before ending the call with a cold click sound in my ear.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

_**Bella**_

Choices.

There are always s choices in life and I wasn't sure of mine any more.

"You sure you want you want to do this?" dad asked me with a concerned look on his face that made him look old, too old to have his grown, pregnant daughter living with him.

I shook my head over his question. I wasn't sure if I was or not, I just knew I had to do s_omething._ Sitting back and doing nothing was not getting me anywhere and to be honest I was growing restless. I needed something. I needed either closure or a path back to where it should be.

"Did you ever forgive mom?" I asked him, changing the subject drastically from my fucked up marriage to his.

I had asked him that question countless times before and all variations. In the past I wanted to know that somewhere in the heart of the man I admired most he had forgive the one woman I never had.

"Bella, you'll discover that people aren't saints. They make mistake, horrible, _horrible _mistakes. The question is if you can forgive them. Is your love stronger than the mistake that was made? I can you live without him?" my dad asked me in a question voice as he tried to explain his own decision that came to him taking my mother back after a two year affair with another teacher at the school where she worked.

"I knew I loved your mom enough to try. I knew that it would be hard and there was a pretty damn good chance that we would fail, but I had to try to save my marriage. If it failed then I could rest easy knowing that I had tried my best, and if it worked we would come out of it stronger than ever," he said simply as if the decision was that easy when I knew it wasn't.

"But that's my decision, and this…this one is yours," he said as he pulled up in front of the coffee shop where I had told Edward to meet me after finally returning his numerous phone calls.

"Just know whatever you decide that I'm with you. I'll support whatever since all I want is for you to be happy, no matter where that happiness comes from," he said with a heavy sigh just as Edward stepped out from behind the glass door to greet me with an uncertain smile that was too tired to be attractive.

"Thanks dad," I managed to whisper as I swallowed the lump in my throat as I opened the car door to finally face the man whom I had been avoiding for days.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! Thanks to all who thought enough of this lame-o fic to vote for it on The Lemonade Stand Poll last week. **

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

_**Bella**_

__The coffee shop was empty except for Edward and me. It wasn't the idea spot to meet, yet it was the first place I thought of when he asked if we could meet.

"I...uhm…I got you a coffee," Edward offered as he motioned towards the dark brew in the cup that sat before me.

"I know how much love it," he offered up as if to remind me that he once knew me.

"Thanks," I replied with a sigh as I reached for it.

"It is decaf?" I asked as I brought the cup closer to me to take a drink even though I knew I would just throw it up later.

"No, "he stuttered in a perplexed manner as he looked at me with wide eyes of discomfort.

"I'm cutting back on my caffeine… You know…Because of the baby," I offered lamely and then watched him run a nervous hand through his hair as he looked away as if he was embarrassed.

"Let me get you something different then," he said immediately as he stood up before snatching the cup of coffee away from me in a hurried motion that left me slightly stunned. I made no move to stop him, but instead watched him try to fix this tiny oversight while knowing that fixing this would be the easiest part of our time together that day.

**AN:  
Thanks for reading! I'm planning on another update later today after I get home from work.**

**Xoxo,**

**Mamasutra**


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

**Leah**

The office was silent, but I was used to it. Rumors had started after Edward spoke to Aro asking for time off, a sabbatical was what he called it, but I knew better. He was drawing close to her. He was trying to save his own skin. It was so fucking typical of men like him, but I knew Bella well enough to know that she would toss him to the way side. She was never one to tolerate anything less than the best and Edward had always been inferior compared to her.

"Hey Susan," I called to the other office assistant, seeking out some sort of human contact for the day, but the girl just smiled before returning to the conversation she was sharing with the older HR rep, Sheila. I would have joined them, but she hated me so I kept my distance.

"So, did you hear about Edward Cullen?" Sheila asked her in a tone that dripped heavy with gossip. My heart raced in my chest as I leaned in to hear whatever titillating piece of gossip the old woman had to share.

"I heard his wife kicked him out," she said with a smile on her face that suggested there was no sympathy there for Edward followed by a low gasp of surprise.

"Do you know why?" the woman asked and I strained to listen to her explanation since I needed to know if they knew the truth.

"No, but I figured it was because she was sick of him. You know, he's been nothing but a mess since Sam," Sheila went on, only trailing off as she mentioned my Sam's name.

"Yeah, but rumor has it they are trying to work it out," she finished flatly as if this bit of news worthy gossip was disappointing while I was left sputtering in shock.

She was taking him back. It made no sense since she had always said if he ever cheated on her it was done, they would be done.

"You ok, Leah?" Susan asked me, breaking her conversation with Sheila to acknowledge me as I tried pass of my reaction to this news as nothing.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I replied in a scratchy voice as I scrambled to stand up to leave the women and their worthless gossip behind.

A**N:**

**Thanks for reading! Your interest and kindness keep me updating this : )**

**Hey, for those of you who are not into the story that's cool. I understand, but please don't tell me that cheater fics are all I write. Might I suggest my non angst stories? Have you read The Night We Met or my wip, Playing for Keeps? Maybe they would be more your speed… Just a thought.**

*****Edited 5/20/13... thanks to those who caught my mistake... My WIP that is non angst is Playing for Keeps not Playing with Fire... Sorry about that!*******

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

_**Edward**_

The pounding on the door was loud and jarring, pulling me out of my heavy sleep.

_Bella._

She was always my first thought now that she gone. I jumped upright from the couch, knocking boxes of take out off the coffee table as I struggled to move.

_Bella._

My heart pounded out a rhythm that hurt my chest as I tripped over trash to scramble to the door to greet her, but instead of brown eyes that I had memorized, I was greeted with ice cold blue eyes that held nothing but scorn.

Alice Brandon. My cousin, as well as my immediate supervisor, was standing at doorstep. She was dressed impeccably in a sharp blue dress suit with heels to match that made her eyes look like ice. I watched her smooth at her jet black hair. It was a nervous reaction since not a hair was out of place. Just seeing her dressed perfectly while I stood before her in track pants and a crappy shirt only added to my lack of self worth.

"You look like shit," she proclaimed in a clipped tone that did not surprise me, as I fought off the extreme disappointment to find her instead of my wife.

"So it's true, huh?" she asked me without pausing as I stared at her.

"You were fucking around on Bella," she stated as she stared at me with hard eyes. Her words were harsh, but only because the truth was bitter to hear.

"It was a mistake," I stated just as she pushed past me to walk into the house that had been my home.

"A mistake is rear ending someone at a stop sign because you weren't paying attention; not fucking another woman," she corrected with grit in her tone that made me flinch.

"Listen, I am only here because you need a fucking job and I happen to like your wife," she sighed as she looked around the mess I had created of my home.

"Have you spoken to Bella?" I demanded after she mentioned my wife.

"Just forget it," she sighed as she turned away from me as if she was about to leave me once more, but I stopped her by grabbing her arm to hold her in place.

"I can't sleep at night without her," I confessed as she looked away from me, embarrassed for me and what I had become.

"She met me for coffee, but that was just to tell me about an upcoming doctor's appointment. She didn't want to discuss her coming home or what I could do to make this right again," I rambled on, but something I had said caused Alice to turn back to look at me with surprise that quickly morphed into a quiet rage.

"Edward, you didn't lose her place in a book or wreck her favorite shirt while doing laundry. You fucked her friend and there is nothing you can do to make that right," Alice said slowly as she held my gaze, willing me to understand what she was saying even though I refused to believe it.

"I was wrong, but there has to be something. I mean, we've been together since we were kids and I have loved her…" I began as I felt the sickening knot settle into my stomach once more. It was the same damn knot I felt every time I thought of life without Bella.

"There is no way you could love her and do that," Alice stated with a firm tone as a whisper of the memory doubting my love for the woman crossed my mind.

Alice, like always, was able to pick up on my instant guilt and just shook her head.

"See, what I mean," she muttered to me as she looked away once more while allowing the silence to settle like a cold blanket that separated us.

"She's not coming back is she?" I asked out loud, but I knew the answer without Alice speaking a word. Bella was gone and it was all my doing, but more than that I had no idea what I was going to do even try to get her back. I just knew that I would do whatever she might ask to make it happen.


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

_Bella_

During the day I was fine. I could focus on my job or whatever task was at hand, but at night I had nothing but time on my hands. It was during that time that I would look back on my marriage and wonder what else I missed. How had I missed that Edward and Leah were…

I couldn't even think the words because when I did rage would consume me and it was an ugly feeling. While most people assured me that rage was ok. Rage was not only acceptable, it was to be expected. It was something that I didn't my child to experience so because of that I did my best to channel my energy elsewhere, _anywhere,_ but by focusing on my failed marriage.

I wandered my father's empty house since he spent most of his nights with Sue. There was a relationship that had taken an awkward turn since while she was the closest thing I had to a mother figure, she also was Leah's mom and I never wanted to put her in the middle. She deserved better than even though it was clear that Leah didn't care, but I was learning that Leah didn't care about anything but herself.

I stepped out into the cool night air to take a breath, but instead of relaxation I was greeted by a beaten looking Edward sitting on my porch steps. Just seeing him sitting there, waiting for something, maybe me; I didn't know, hurt and brought out all that anger all over again. I had no time to react like how I wanted with the bitter words that coated my tongue before he turned to look at me with tears in his eyes.

"Alice said that you're not coming back," he half whispered as he looked at me with a pleading look. It was a pleading look that I was not used to seeing. I had only seen him plead once and that was to an already gone Sam to breathe as he struggled to do CPR to no avail.

"Edward…" I replied harshly, ready and willing to cut him off and rip whatever dreams he had left of us away just like he had done to me, but he stopped me.

"Don't say yes," he said as he scrambled faster than what I expected, trapping me on the porch with an uncomfortable embrace of him holding my legs tight.

"Don't leave me, Bella," he pleaded as he looked up at me with tear filled yes that surprised me.

"I would do anything to fix this. Tell me what to do and I will do it," he cried as he clung to me, stunning me with his peculiar behavior that was so not like him as he cried.

"Edward, you can't just fix this," I managed to say as he pressed his face into my belly, smothering it with kisses. It was a caring gesture, but it felt desperate.

"I can, Bella. I can. I can do whatever you want, whatever you need to make this right," he murmured into my skin.

"I didn't realize…" he stammered on as I stood there, not wanting to comforting him, yet knowing that it would help ease my escape. The moment he spoke those words my blood ran cold. There was no responsibility taken from him there was nothing but the feeble excuse that he didn't realize when we both knew that was a lie.

"You didn't realize that we were married?" I asked in a cold manner as I stood there, unmoving while he continued to kiss my middle.

"Or what it that you didn't realize that I would leave you?" I finished as his kissing came to a halt.

"Because it can't be that you didn't realize that it would kill me. I know this because the man I married, the man I have spent years with would not have missed the fact that screwing my best friend would rip my heart out," I half growled at him as I found myself shoving him away from me as I untangled myself from his twisted embrace.

"I know, but…" he stammered on, trying to explain, but there was nothing to explain.

"No buts, Edward," I sated firmly as I took a step back from him while refusing to look into his tear filled eyes as I turned and left him on his knees where I had found him.

**AN;**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

_Bella_

Days have a way of passing into each other without rhyme or reason when you are trying to find your focus once more. I had been focused. I had known what I was doing and where I needed to be until Edward showed up on my door step and once more I doubted myself.

"You know you are welcome to stay with me for as long as like," Demetri called out to me, pulling me from the thoughts in my head that always seemed to swirl around another man.

"Yeah, I bet that's exactly what you want," I snickered in effort to make light of his serious suggestion.

"I mean, nothing screams single man out on the prowl like a pregnant woman passed out on the couch with a carton of Ben and Jerry's on the coffee table in front of her," I laughed as he shook his head at me once more. That was always his response to me. This soft denial as if I was crazy one and not him.

"I haven't been out on the prowl in forever," he half whispered as if he was scared to confess it.

"What?" I shrieked in denial as he continued to shake his head at me, telling me no without saying anything more.

"What about Vickie?" I demanded as I took the cup of tea from his hands that he offered. I didn't have to look at it to know that he had already placed the sweetener and cream in it just like I liked.

"Vickie was a friend from work, but beyond that… No," he confessed in a nervous tone that caused me to gawk at him in shock. I scrambled, trying to think of the last girl he was even remotely serious with, but came up with nothing.

"What about…" I began as I looked at him while seeing vulnerability in his eyes that I wasn't used to seeing in this man whom I had counted as my closest friend outside of Leah. He wasn't one to complain about his love life, but up until that moment I had always believed that he had a love life, instead of this life of being alone.

"What's the point of looking when the best girl was already taken?" he asked me with a half laugh and too blue of eyes to be telling the truth while taking his age old jab at me being with Edward just like he always did.

A**N:  
Thanks for reading!**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

*Bella*

The morning light was bright and cold, forcing me awake as I lay upon my childhood bed. I wasn't used to being back here even though I had been for a few weeks now. The smells were different and the silence was consuming. I hated here, yet it was better than the uncomfortable silence that filled the spaces at home.

The chiming of my phone told me of messages that no doubt were waiting for me most likely from Demetri. Our uncomfortable good bye the previous night left me uncertain as to what to do while wondering if I had gone through life blindly up until that moment. I knew he liked me. I knew it. I had always known it, but somehow had down played it even though his attention drove Edward mad. There was no down playing it now.

I grabbed my phone from where it rested upon the white wood of the night stand that had been by my bed as far back as what I could remember. Slowly, I took a deep calming breath as I pushed the button, half expecting to find it filled with his half assed apologies, but instead there were only two lonely comments from Edward there to greet me.

_I always loved you and only you._

_ I am so sorry._

AN:

Thanks for reading

Xoxo

Mamasutra


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